I'm Going Crazy: The Storm is Inside Out
Rationalizing makes you crazy
What makes you feel crazy is the effort to rationalize the other's behavior. Trying to rationalize why someone who loves you treats you badly makes you crazy; trying to rationalize why you love someone who treats you badly makes you crazy.
"Black feminists often talk about their feelings of craziness before becoming conscious of the concepts of sexual politics, patriarchal rule, and most importantly, feminism, the political analysis and practice that we women use to struggle against our oppression."
I can see it now right off, with friends and acquaintances in abusive and oppressive relationships, and I remember going through it myself. (Remember Poe's Trigger Happy Jack?)
Is love good
The really difficult part of the process is wondering what love is. Is it love if it's bad and unhealthy? The simple answer is Yes. Yes you can love someone who hurts you. People who love you can hurt you. The love is still love; not all love embraces happiness or health.
Love isn't limited to one, true-love, meant-to-be, soul-mate sort of box. For those who meet a desired long term partner right off the bat, kudos and congrats. But the majority of folks will love multiple people in multiple ways.
From my experience, if you find yourself feeling crazy, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's okay to love and leave; it's okay to say, "I love you, but I'm going to have to love you from somewhere else."