"Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality" | A Summary
Sexy nice boys?
You may be familiar with the virgin/whore dichotomy, but Brad Perry is exploring the stud/husband one in this essay about learning how to be a respectful, sexual man. When it comes to women assessing a man, he's requesting a new category,
I can be respectful and make you come.
For entitlement and victimhood to end, we need men and women to stop playing the roles.
Based largely on his work and professional experience, Perry recommends joining the two traditional fields of sexual health promotion and sexual violence prevention. And by sexual violence prevention, let's get this straight, we're not just focusing on keeping women safe, we're strategizing on how to stop perpetrators from trying. Healthy Sexuality programs could foster a belief that sex is something adults "share with one another, instead of do to one another."
Perry assumes that if we successfully teach young boys and girls healthy sexuality from the start, then the rate of violence will decrease. Healthy sexuality would be taught as emotional, intellectual, spiritual, social and physical. Based on findings from studies in the Netherlands, France and Germany we would have culturally diverse public education campaigns that focus on safety and pleasure, it would be integrated across the curriculum at all grade levels and respond to student questions, families would have open and honest discussions, and individuals would be encouraged to create a personal sex ethic.
Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape edited by Jaclyn Friedman & Jessica Valenti, Foreword by Margaret Cho, Essay 16, "Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality: The Lessons Boys Learn (and Don't Learn) About Sexuality, and Why a Sex-Positive Rape Prevention Paradigm can Benefit Everyone Involved" by Brad Perry, Pages 193-207