Articles are materials that stimulate discussion and articulate opinions about the lifestyle issues surrounding living Happy + Sexy.

"Reclaiming Touch" | A Response

Yes Means Yes

Body sovereignty

Body sovereignty covers reproductive rights, required consent, ableism and so many more subtle areas of concern for empowerment.  As a way to test the concept, Troost set out on a mission to only touch people when given permission and to expect the same, and this became very problematic for people when it came to a simple social gesture, the hug.

Expressed Verbal Consent (EVC)

Troost asks the question, 

More than role reversal, more than prosexual or sex-positive

I tend to think about erotic equality in terms of balance.  Role reversal is one form of balance; balancing power, balancing opportunity of expression.  But for me, role reversal is still an either/or formula that doesn't meet my needs. 

I'm Going Crazy: The Storm is Inside Out

Combahee River Collective Statement (1977)

Rationalizing makes you crazy

What makes you feel crazy is the effort to rationalize the other's behavior.  Trying to rationalize why someone who loves you treats you badly makes you crazy; trying to rationalize why you love someone who treats you badly makes you crazy.

"Who're You Calling a Whore?" | A Response

Yes Means Yes

Flipped again

"I think that sex workers commodify men. I remember looking at guys in strip clubs and seeing dollar signs in place of their heads. [...] I hate it when people assume that the only people commodified in sex work are the workers." -- Mariko1

Making change

Combahee River Collective Statement (1977)

The changing ways of change

Resources & links

Sexuality (authors)

Words & Ideas - Dominator or Initiator?

Initiator Toru-nakata

Sticky, sticky, sticky

One of the sticky topics to tackle on this site is the concept of domination and power as applied to our sexual relationships.  Power can be so subjective, and in the realm of sexuality, we're dealing with a vast lair of context.

"Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality" | A Summary

Yes Means Yes

Sexy nice boys?

You may be familiar with the virgin/whore dichotomy, but Brad Perry is exploring the stud/husband one in this essay about learning how to be a respectful, sexual man.  When it comes to women assessing a man, he's requesting a new category,

I can be respectful and make you come.

For entitlement and victimhood to end, we need men and women to stop playing the roles.  

Common Privilege Traps and How to Avoid Them

Derailing for Dummies

Learning to be good communicators can be hard work, especially when we are speaking through a lens of privilege.  Sometimes we play into negative cycles because we are not aware of our privileges.  Here are some tips for continued self-awareness.

On the Virtues of Vanilla


One sexy bean pod

First of all, it's from an orchid.  An orchid!  It's medically considered mildly addictive (!) and historically was an aphrodisiac. 

Yes, indeed, and as it turns out, and I quote: